In desperate need of a helping hand

Hi I'm a 40 year old father of four boys I have strive my whole adult life to work hard and provide for my family even tho as a child I was sexualy physically and mentally abused by my stepfather and uncle over a space of 8 years from the age of 5 until I was strong enough to do something about it at 13! I was subject to many evil things from these two monsters and have suffered from ptsd ever since a constant feeling of unworthiness and hatred for myself for what I see as letting happen to me even tho I was a innocent child! I have tried working my whole life but just scrape by on manual work as my schooling was non existence because of the abuse I was suffering! My ptsd is a constant reminder of what happened to me and I just can't escape it even being aged 40 and the abuse happening many years ago it has shaped my whole life and I have never truly tried to live just survive! I'm desperate to give my children a better life and hoping with the generous help of people I may be able to give them a family holiday this summer they deserve so if any body could help with the cost of this not matter how small I would be forever in your gratitude God bless x