I need help paying for my debt. Depression is real!

I hate February. I mean, does anyone really enjoy it?  But 12 years ago my mother died in February.  And then, a few years ago, my father was murdered in February...by my brother. And then my brother took his own life. He was a tortured soul. It was a tortured, pained life really. It ended the way it started. Drug addicted. Alone. Confused. He was adopted by my parents from a young teen aged birth mother who was drug addicted and a drinker as well. Needless to say he had issues. So, this left me with a funeral to pay for and a heap of depression. Unfortunately I didn’t handle it well. I didn’t drink or do anything physically destructive. But I shopped. And shopped and ignored all of the bills. I paid the minimum payments. And the mortgage. I didn’t tell my husband or my kids that anything was wrong. And now....they know. And my husband might leave. He is pissed. The kids are teens and need to go to college. I have ruined everything. I don’t feel like there is any way out. I need $75,000 to get out of this mess that I have created and I have no way to do it on my own. I am seeing a counselor and now realize that shopping won’t fill an emotional void. But oof, the bills are a reminder that make it hard to move on. Any help is appreciated. 

https://www.paypal.me/EAF627 (https://www.paypal.me/EAF627)