I'm so hungry

I used to be a frugal girl, i didn't always eat breakfast and had no need for an afternoon snack. Sometimes i'd even skip meals because i thought i didn't deserve them and i'd rather let my mother and sister have them. 

Recently we finally managed to be in a better place financially (my mother clawed her way out of the unemployment) and i managed to reach and mental and emotional stability. So I started to eat better and more. And my mother noticed. Instead of seing me finally eating healthily and being satisfied, she saw me getting fatter and unhealthier. She saw the threat of obesity and diabetes. So she decided to buy less to make me eat less. And the nightmare started. I had a taste of heaven before being thrown right back to hell. Gone were the full meals, i welcomed again my good old friend pasta, while my mother ate her microwavable brand food and frozen dessert. Even fruits and meat were a shame to ask. I started craving food every waking hour of the day, even hours of the night, disturbing my sleep, and i still do. My hunger is the only thing I can think of, the growling pit in my stomach is turning me mad. The worst part is that the hungrier i get the more i crave sugary and fat poison that feel so so good in my brain and belly. So i starve, i crave and binge and starve and crave and binge, while my mother thinks she is keeping me healthy and is deaf to my beggings. 

I'm just so hungry, i don't want millions, i don't want Gucci, i don't want the brand knew iphone. I just want 20$ even 10$ worth of groceries. Why is it such a shameful thing to want? Please help me, i'm so hungry. 

Thanks for reading me, it warm my heart to have someone listening to my ramblings. 

paypal.me/MendyAnais